ABOUT

"Poetic mind. Loving heart. Flawed ways." - AisforALEX.

I have already lived life EMANCIPATED. I have already figured out my personal style and my personal interests. No one is holding me back from who I want to be. Thus now, my only objective is to live life (extra)Ordinary! I say Ordinary because it should be ORDINARY to live your life to the fullest. It should be Ordinary to live your life Extraordinarily! Which is why I have the “extra” in the brackets. So this is a new journey on ME taking risks, living life and taking all the opportunities that come my way. All the while MAKING new opportunities. For me and for others. I want to live life EXTRAORDINARILY!
I am always ready to share and passionate about helping others with anything I can. Expect random ramblings, vlogs and beauty and hair care tips for all hair types (esp. black natural hair).

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"Poetic mind. Loving heart. Flawed ways." - AlexElle
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I could never do the unimaginable...
The unimaginable are for those with little imagination.

My imagination, since I was young , has always been very vast and full of colour (literally and figuratively). I always had so many plans, so many ideas and so many ways to find a way to execute those ideas. Though it was sometimes hard - and I never claimed that I was a genius or that I was the best at anything in particular - I am always aware that there is always the high chance that there's someone who could do something better than me. The difference between myself and others is that I am not very competitive.

 I do not try my hardest and do my best in order to beat down others, I merely do as well as I possibly can in order to feel happy for myself. When I receive great feedback on work that I did on my own I get extremely excited and ecstatic, not because I have possibly outdone someone's best effort, but because I have done a good job enough to be recognized.

'Cause "recognition is the best motivator" - but only cause I feel that most times when I'm doing a good job, I can always do better and better and advance myself.

31.8.14

[LIFE] When You Take the Bull By The Horns?

Hey, so we are just going to have to get used to the fact that I DO NOT POST REGULARLY. It's not my intention, it just happens. I have been super busy and such - but I thought that the past few days (months even, but ain't no body got any actual time for that) were very bloggable. Blog-worthy.

Now, I know no one really reads this blog anymore (laughs to myself), but if anyone were to take a gander I do want people to stay inspired. This blog since it's birth has been about, well it's been about me - but in the likes of that it has been about my evolution from being too shy to take a stand, or too worried about letting myself be me - which is why this blog was supposed to be my emancipation. Then at 20/21 I decided this was going to be a recollection of Extraordinary moments in my new emancipated life. So here we go -

Well, I will let you in on a not-so-secret secret.  When you want something you should get it. If you want to be somewhere in X amount of time, you should positively seek it out. If you know you are good at something, you should find ways make that your calling - and let people know that THIS is what you're good at and they will hire you. Key to this is :
  1. Confidence
  2. Knowledge
  3. Determination
  4. Attitude
Confidence and Attitude may be mistaken as the same thing, but they most definitely are not. Confidence is fine, but if your attitude is not the best then - why on earth would any body on this planet want to hang out with you? Besides me of course, cause I have made friends with one or two miserable souls - with great intentions and they're really fantastic people...haha. Not everyone will give you the time to redeem yourself though.

Positive outlooks = Positive results.
That is the big fat secret - that wasn't so secret at all.

There are people who really don't believe in themselves though, I really had to show someone that its not as corny as it sounds! Just see yourself doing that thing. Do not think about all the reasons why it cannot happen - just think about what matters to you. To give you a hint - what matters to you is how you will get there and overcome all those annoying hurdles.Yes, there are times when you can be "over it", obviously because you're a human being, but don't let that attitude get in the way of what you want.

So... on to my point?

Okay so what is important here? Why do I think this is the way? Where's my proof? Where are my answers? (Cause I'm apparently Sway now?)

 My Internship is my proof, I knew I was good at something and I went for it.
Did I have the best resume? No. Not really.
Did I get chosen first? No, I didnt.
Did I get chosen last? I wouldn't be too surprised to be honest... but that is information I do not have.

Then what the hell did I have?
  1. Confidence
  2. Knowledge
  3. Determination
  4. Attitude
I confidently applied and stated all the reasons why I should be involved with the company. I went to the interview and based in the very little experience I had - I displayed a great attitude and determination while talking about what knowledge I had. That was it. The rest was inner. I knew I could do that job, so I saw myself in it. So - I didn't get chosen first, but whoever got chosen before me wasn't working out very well and as much as I wish everyone well on their journeys in life - I WANTED THIS GIG.

So I got the email and had a week trial. Passed. It's been a month almost now, and I am about to be added to the Team page on the site - have my own email and now can say I'm SMM Director. They love the results I provide and appreciate my involvement.

Moral of the story is:
This thing you want? It is actually right there. If you wholeheartedly believe in what you are doing and what you are and what you can accomplish. You'll be alright.

Peace & Love everyone!



12.2.14

[LIFE] Dumb race jokes // working hard or hardly working?

Okay so...

Working where I work it's like the worst thing ever to get an opening shift. You usually wanna get evening shifts and you usually want these shifts to land on a weekend.  Just saying.

So basically my day consisted of...
Cleaning.
Doing washroom checks every 15 min.
Mopping the lobby...
Chatting it up.

UNTIL...

I decided to run out an order to a patron.
I go..

I pick up an order of sprite and 2 hot dogs and run it all the way to top seats and these guys...

It was normal at first..they wanted more mustard and they want relish. Okay fine.

I come back to tell them we don't have any more mustard packs and we don't have relish.

No REAL problem.

Him: really no mustard or relish?
Me: yeah that was the last one.
Him: well, I saw it on the other side (as in ...In the other establishment where I do not work) why don't you go over there and just pump them in the white cups. 4 of each.

Me: sure, no problem.

Him: yeah we will start with this *waves packet in my face disrespectful like*

I grab a co - worker to help me with the condiments and I serve it to him on a platter.  I guess they laughed about the fact that there were condiments on a platter but..whatever.

I give them the condiments that I went out of the way to get..Cause everyone else was like
"Erm, I would have told him we just can't do that."

So whatever I put it on his table and he's like..
"K thanks"

No tip.

Whatever.

Day goes by and I told some co - workers what happened everyone said "you should have spilled it on him"

Which I have no idea why people actually say shit like this cause GOD knows THEY wouldn't do that...

But obviously I should do it and get my ass fired but...that is not even the point here...

So the guys leave and we go to clean up ..

They threw the mustard on the wall and left a huge mess...like some set of ....You know what...I'm not even going to start.

That was the only thing that really bugged me at work.

Next....

So day goes by I get off my break it's 6pm.
We don't really have anyone scheduled until 7.
Managers are...no where.

At all.

So slowly a build up of employees start to congregate. 

Place is basically empty and no one's coming.
So I finish mopping and as I'm finishing some guy at work starts to make a comment on my mopping techniques. ..

Nothing fancy ...just mopping.

He said "you're not thinking straight cause of your hair"

He also said:
" this is a perfect picture for slavery " and starts making all these comments about whipping and how I'm mopping up like a Slave and he said it's perfect cause of my fro...

Now I know what your next question is...

"Ugh, was he white! ?"

Nope.

Black dude.
Notorious for hitting on white girls.
And jamaican. As in he's Jamaican.

Let me tell you how I was soooo pissed but had to relax cause I'm at work and didn't want to tell him about his Uncle Tom, nasty d*ck having self.  B*tch a** punk a** heaux a** son of a b*tch. 

*big sigh*

So no one else was laughing and we were in a group of black employees and he was the only one laughing and it was looking hell a pathetic so he slowly escorted himself away from us.

One guy...Though not directly saying anything he defended my hair a bit but saw that the other guy was pretty ignorant. 

Me and that guy will not be getting along by the way...

I thought I was going to turn him inside out with the amount of cussing I had behind my tongue. Lord. Gee. Zussss. 

I can't even believe people think that shit is funny.
Or think that it is appropriate to say.

What a little sh*t. 

9.2.14

[LIFE] I have a confused sore throat

It's sore but it's not sure whether it wants to really hurt you or not.  -_-

Okay so anyway, 

It's Sunday and as much as I'd like to take this day to relax..I have school stuff to do. I finally took some time to drink and eat with coworkers after work last night. It was actually pretty nice, besides the fact that we went for drink after work ...AT OUR PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT. 

It would have been much better if it were Montana ' s or something, cause our managers were just like...staring at us...and stuff.

Super weird.

But I enjoyed the hour spent.

In other news,
Seriously. I need to go back to the gym. But I also need new shoes. I realize that when I make irrational calls and decisions I tend to....

Not think about it all the way through.

So I need to basically get a bunch of new footwear. 1 for everyday and 2 for the gym. I took a look at those Nike free 5.0 or whatever they're called. Tried those babies on and WHOOOOOOOOO!

They are the best.  I love them. I am buying them. That is going to total like.. 135 after taxes..at minimum. 

Worth it.

Seriously.

I am very excited to go to the gym more often again. I am going to be so happy to finally go back and center myself in something that makes me feel good.

Anyway...

So tired.
Don't really have things to say lately but when I do..I will be back!

29.1.14

[LIFE] Took A Minute But...

Listening to: 

Friendly Skies (feat. Ginuwine) by Missy Elliott on Grooveshark

I am back in school yay!

Thank goodness.

So, I  have been back in school for 3 weeks now, and as always OSAP is late and taking forever - though I have been way more on top of things by making sure I am always calling the financial aid office and getting up in there face about the stuff I care about. Instead of sitting around waiting for answers like I used to do.

Also, I am finally a permanent employee ! It feels SO GOOD to not have to worry about a contract being expired and looking for a new place of employment. So....so..good. It's a great environment and I am finally out of the sales business - so no more crazy commission (though it's still commission and tips - it's not as competitive and crazy), people work as a team and actually look out for each other - most of the time. Obviously there are the few that don't care and just want to make money to the point where they may try to steal your sales...but if too many of us notice we will all come down on you together and isolate you. It happened yesterday...

This guy kept taking orders - some were in my quadrant and some were in another couple of servers quadrants (we all have set areas to serve)...this dude had been doing it to me for 2 weeks and I was getting to the edge. I made up my mind I was either going to speak to him or just take his sales, however it seemed like more than one server had an issue with it so during down time, we all walked and talked to him about it. Cause it was just ridiculous...

In other news...

I am a lot happier I feel like my life is going in the right direction. I had been in a depression situation for some time and I just wasn't doing things according to what I needed; I had been spending a lot of my time doing what needed to be done for others and not myself. I realized that I have to put myself first and no matter how much it may hurt someone's feelings - I can't hurt myself and be depressed and cry everyday and feel sad and worthless and lacklustre forever. Sometimes you have to just know that you are worth a lot more and you deserve to make yourself happy - if you can't do it financially then you REALLY have to do it in other ways.

The entire situation took a huge toll on my face too - I am undergoing serious treatment with The Body Shop to bring my skin back to being #flawless without makeup on. (its working, and I am going to do a product review on it very very soon! :) )


That's what I am up to.

Next...

I have GOALS for 2k14!

My goal is to grow my hair to chest length! My hair is already growing pretty well lately, I just have to make sure I really take care of my hair instead of being crazy and just cutting and blow drying and doing all this crazy stuff to it.

I am going back to the gym next week! Yay!
Still shooting for a weight of 115 (minimum) - and I have been gaining...So yay some more!
Oh yeah....and you know get a awesome GPA and be super-duper great for the end of the semester. Then I am going to summer school cause..yeah. Want to bring myself up to speed.

Anyways, I have class in a little bit..but I am back to blogging and taking time out for myself to release my thoughts :)

More to come ya'lls!

<3 p="">


4.11.13

PROTECTIVE HAIR STYLE / PROFESSIONAL CHIC UPDO

I had a Job Interview and want to look put together, and I think a cute updo is always the way to go..

So I present to you: my updo!

I used perm rods for the curls at the front and captured the wavy effect from a simple twist out.


26.9.13

[LIFE] [WEIGHTGAIN] Found Them!!

So it is incredibly hard to find weight gain information in the search engine for me sometimes. 
It's as if there is just a small community of us who want to do it - understandably so - since most of the population is trying to lose immense amounts of weight, I am guessing it's a lot more easier to do that. This morning as I woke up - i realized this is Day 4 of my 60Day Challenge and I need to find more information on effective weight gaining.

so I remembered today that my cousin had told me she was running into some black female bloggers talking about how they finally gained weight - and how odd she found it. Everyone thinks we should be happy at the weight we're at - even my doctor won't help me! So, I scanned the internets and searched youtube and actually found quite a few who are currently on weight gain journeys! I was like :

HALLELUJAH! 

So happy I found them! Lol
I mean, so far i have only found 3 who are currently doing it and that is: 
mrsdivalike 
Jazzy Jay
&
BlkBeautyLife

You can always go to Bootynomics as well - but I don't find it as helpful now that I am gaining weight. She was really helpful to me when I had been trying to maintain my weight. Now that I lost it, and I am trying to re-gain...no. 

It's hard out here for people like me trying to re-gain weight. LOL
It really is, and not many people are helping around me, so I am doing it on my own. No one is really encouraging me, no one is really motivating me with photos or websites or anything. 

So when I get discouraged, that's just it for me - and everyone tells me to either relax or : ";you still look cute!"

NO DAMNIT!

Thats like telling someone who's trying to lose weight that they're still 'beautiful" or they're still "healthy" or they're still "Cute" or the damn beauty is in the damn eyes of the bloody beholder! No damnit. Stop that shit.

FOR ALL THE PEOPLE READING THIS (if any) THAT THINK THAT SHIT IS OKAY...
STOP.

You are not encouraging and you are not helping.
Even if you think its a lost cause - that doesnt mean you should discourage your friends or family or significant others!

You're an ass for that. Stop doing it. be encouraging. Help out. Say things or send things that may help them find out what they can do!

FOR ALL THE PEOPLE DEALING WITH THAT...

Sometimes people want you to help them all the time and they don't really care to help you.
That's a fact. It's alright - you could be a vengeful person and just stop helping them..lol OR
you can continue to help and maybe chime in that you'd appreciate some support as well... If they still don't give it...then okay. You're on your own. That's alright. Sometimes it's for the best anyway - its better than having someone discourage you a lot daily. Just keep it to yourself. Don't tell them what you're doing anymore. Just do it. 

Seek a community online. I am sure there is one. If there isn't create one. Write. Vlog. Put up progress shots. Comment on a vlogger or blogger's progress and they will respond and you will feel connected to someone, who is in the same position as you.

I know I am on that positivity thing but - screw the people who aren't there for you in any aspect. They aren't good for your life anyhow, so don't even pay attention to them. 


ANYWAY!
(you know my grammar is never perfect on here, I talk how I speak in an informal setting..)

Have a good one.
Peace!


25.9.13

Bloggin from da phooonee

Biggest headache ever...
My positivity project kind of ...went a bit...left but I got back on it!

Always going to hit bumps in the road, but I found ways to keep my head up and keep being positive no matter who is trying to disrespect or disregard me. I gave myself 60days to not only get my weight back...

But get some of my shape (if not all of it ) back. I went HAM on myself yesterday and today my body is aching SUPER hard. I cant...do...anything. ..

I just need to get a whole lot of protein in my body and recoup.  So I can get back on it tomorrow.  I technically walked uphill for 50mins today...so that can go towards my daily workout.  Lmao.

I was in SO MUCH pain when I got in.

Going to try different avenues for my fitness though.  I am sorta BROKE..so can't really make it to the gym kr anything.  However,  where there is a will there is a way. I already see some improvement anyhow.

I realized that the key  to gaining weight is to eat a lot more calories than the average person.  .

I know what your thinking.

You're looking at me like: "well, uhh DUh! How did you NOT figure that out!?"

Well because I have been eating in portions to maintain a 118 body...that it has become a habit not to overindulge.  Like I used to in high school and elementary.

But it looks like I need to get back on it.

At least to a degree.

Im pumped and ready to go though! 

I set my end date and prepared my goals and notes in my phone and on my calendar so its all in front of me..

Thus very hard to avoid and forget.

Let's do this shit!

Whooooop!

Alright headache is killing me..so I'm going to relax.

Tutorial- rope twist out


11.9.13

[LIFE] How To Feel Good About Life When You're Down - STEP ONE

Hello, Hello..

I have a huge headache. I had a bad start to the week and it just had gotten worse til 6PM.
Cracked my phone's screen. Financial issues. School issues - none having to do with my actual academics - thankfully.. Family issues - if you read further back in this blog you will see that, my home life is always annoying as all shit. A whole bunch of issues, a lot of which are not being mentioned today, cause well - I have a damn headache and can't be bothered. The only good thing that really came out of this day was getting a job interview for Thursday Morning. I am putting all my effort into getting a job...cause unfortunately that is the root to most of my problems.

ANYWAY..

So, yeah all this negativity surrounding me and all this depression had me feeling really down and out about my life. So - I decided I would work towards positive vibes...as in ACTUALLY work ACTIVELY towards these vibes. Not just think happy thoughts. Thinking happy thoughts alone - though it is a start - doesn't really get me anywhere. I have to be DOING things I really enjoy and participating in things that make me happy. A lot of the things that usually make me happy are very out of reach...thus I have to find new ways to effectively feel better. So I thought - whatever sure, i will blog about it - at least as a way to keep tabs on myself you know?

Yeah..

S, first thing is first I made a list of everything I appreciate in life. The things that make me happy. The things that bring me joy, the things that relax me...

Here is a little bit from my list of things:



Other than all of that, I am very grateful for another opportunity to at least have an interview with a job that has no commission! I am going to do everything I can in order to bag that one job there. Haha. ...sigh.

Other than that, I am incredibly tired and ready for bed now. I had a telephone interview with H&M last week Wednesday, so if all goes well, I may get an e-mail from them as well, however I am not having high expectations or anything. Every time I hype up an interview I had, it never turns out the way I had thought so... I will just have no comment. Plan for the morning is to wake up and do my laundry - make some food and keep applying to new jobs on the daily.

Every time I feel negativity or painful thoughts I will go back to my list of happy things and think about them, meditate on them and block out anything and everything else around me with the love and appreciation I have for everything  I had mentioned.

Review the things that make me happy every morning when you wake up and right before bed.

I remember when I was in Elementary - I was a very God Fearing young girl who prayed every night before bed - I remember that every time I prayed, before I asked for anything I made sure to be thankful of what I had already and thankful for even the smallest positivity I had throughout the day. Think of it like that. If you aren't religious, just think on those things - and if you are religious - I feel like that was a very good practice, that keeps you humble and down to earth about what reality is and what you need, want, and have.

ANYWAY.. I will be back with STEP 2 soon enough!

Peaceeee.

7.9.13

[ F@R ] Be Yourself Always


photo from glamadolls.tumblr.com


Be yourself always

Soyez vous-même toujours

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emancipators. you can be one too =]