Wednesday is my ME DAY. 
Gym day.
Laundry Day.
Trying new cooking day.
Hair washing day. …
You get it.
My chicken is curried but really dark cause I like it like that.

So, this was din-din! I had that red quinoa sitting in my kitchen for two weeks not sure when I'd have time to experiment with it or what I would even make with it! In any case ... I decided I would make it with curry chicken and it tasted great! 


[LIFE] When You Take the Bull By The Horns?

Hey, so we are just going to have to get used to the fact that I DO NOT POST REGULARLY. It's not my intention, it just happens. I have been super busy and such - but I thought that the past few days (months even, but ain't no body got any actual time for that) were very bloggable. Blog-worthy.

Now, I know no one really reads this blog anymore (laughs to myself), but if anyone were to take a gander I do want people to stay inspired. This blog since it's birth has been about, well it's been about me - but in the likes of that it has been about my evolution from being too shy to take a stand, or too worried about letting myself be me - which is why this blog was supposed to be my emancipation. Then at 20/21 I decided this was going to be a recollection of Extraordinary moments in my new emancipated life. So here we go -

Well, I will let you in on a not-so-secret secret.  When you want something you should get it. If you want to be somewhere in X amount of time, you should positively seek it out. If you know you are good at something, you should find ways make that your calling - and let people know that THIS is what you're good at and they will hire you. Key to this is :
  1. Confidence
  2. Knowledge
  3. Determination
  4. Attitude
Confidence and Attitude may be mistaken as the same thing, but they most definitely are not. Confidence is fine, but if your attitude is not the best then - why on earth would any body on this planet want to hang out with you? Besides me of course, cause I have made friends with one or two miserable souls - with great intentions and they're really fantastic people...haha. Not everyone will give you the time to redeem yourself though.

Positive outlooks = Positive results.
That is the big fat secret - that wasn't so secret at all.

There are people who really don't believe in themselves though, I really had to show someone that its not as corny as it sounds! Just see yourself doing that thing. Do not think about all the reasons why it cannot happen - just think about what matters to you. To give you a hint - what matters to you is how you will get there and overcome all those annoying hurdles.Yes, there are times when you can be "over it", obviously because you're a human being, but don't let that attitude get in the way of what you want.

Moral of the story is:
This thing you want? It is actually right there. If you wholeheartedly believe in what you are doing and what you are and what you can accomplish. You'll be alright.

Peace & Love everyone!


[LIFE] I have a confused sore throat

It's sore but it's not sure whether it wants to really hurt you or not.  -_-

Okay so anyway, 

It's Sunday and as much as I'd like to take this day to relax..I have school stuff to do. I finally took some time to drink and eat with coworkers after work last night. It was actually pretty nice, besides the fact that we went for drink after work ...AT OUR PLACE OF EMPLOYMENT. 

It would have been much better if it were Montana ' s or something, cause our managers were just like...staring at us...and stuff.

Super weird.

But I enjoyed the hour spent.

In other news,
Seriously. I need to go back to the gym. But I also need new shoes. I realize that when I make irrational calls and decisions I tend to....

Not think about it all the way through.

So I need to basically get a bunch of new footwear. 1 for everyday and 2 for the gym. I took a look at those Nike free 5.0 or whatever they're called. Tried those babies on and WHOOOOOOOOO!

They are the best.  I love them. I am buying them. That is going to total like.. 135 after taxes..at minimum. 

Worth it.


I am very excited to go to the gym more often again. I am going to be so happy to finally go back and center myself in something that makes me feel good.


So tired.
Don't really have things to say lately but when I do..I will be back!


[LIFE] Took A Minute But...

Listening to: 

Friendly Skies (feat. Ginuwine) by Missy Elliott on Grooveshark

I am back in school yay!

Thank goodness.

So, I  have been back in school for 3 weeks now, and as always OSAP is late and taking forever - though I have been way more on top of things by making sure I am always calling the financial aid office and getting up in there face about the stuff I care about. Instead of sitting around waiting for answers like I used to do.

Also, I am finally a permanent employee ! It feels SO GOOD to not have to worry about a contract being expired and looking for a new place of employment. So....so..good. It's a great environment and I am finally out of the sales business - so no more crazy commission (though it's still commission and tips - it's not as competitive and crazy), people work as a team and actually look out for each other - most of the time. Obviously there are the few that don't care and just want to make money to the point where they may try to steal your sales...but if too many of us notice we will all come down on you together and isolate you. It happened yesterday...

This guy kept taking orders - some were in my quadrant and some were in another couple of servers quadrants (we all have set areas to serve)...this dude had been doing it to me for 2 weeks and I was getting to the edge. I made up my mind I was either going to speak to him or just take his sales, however it seemed like more than one server had an issue with it so during down time, we all walked and talked to him about it. Cause it was just ridiculous...

In other news...

I am a lot happier I feel like my life is going in the right direction. I had been in a depression situation for some time and I just wasn't doing things according to what I needed; I had been spending a lot of my time doing what needed to be done for others and not myself. I realized that I have to put myself first and no matter how much it may hurt someone's feelings - I can't hurt myself and be depressed and cry everyday and feel sad and worthless and lacklustre forever. Sometimes you have to just know that you are worth a lot more and you deserve to make yourself happy - if you can't do it financially then you REALLY have to do it in other ways.

The entire situation took a huge toll on my face too - I am undergoing serious treatment with The Body Shop to bring my skin back to being #flawless without makeup on. (its working, and I am going to do a product review on it very very soon! :) )

That's what I am up to.


I have GOALS for 2k14!

My goal is to grow my hair to chest length! My hair is already growing pretty well lately, I just have to make sure I really take care of my hair instead of being crazy and just cutting and blow drying and doing all this crazy stuff to it.

I am going back to the gym next week! Yay!
Still shooting for a weight of 115 (minimum) - and I have been gaining...So yay some more!
Oh yeah....and you know get a awesome GPA and be super-duper great for the end of the semester. Then I am going to summer school cause..yeah. Want to bring myself up to speed.

Anyways, I have class in a little bit..but I am back to blogging and taking time out for myself to release my thoughts :)

More to come ya'lls!

<3 p="">



I had a Job Interview and want to look put together, and I think a cute updo is always the way to go..

So I present to you: my updo!

I used perm rods for the curls at the front and captured the wavy effect from a simple twist out.


[LIFE] [WEIGHTGAIN] Found Them!!

So it is incredibly hard to find weight gain information in the search engine for me sometimes. 
It's as if there is just a small community of us who want to do it - understandably so - since most of the population is trying to lose immense amounts of weight, I am guessing it's a lot more easier to do that. This morning as I woke up - i realized this is Day 4 of my 60Day Challenge and I need to find more information on effective weight gaining.

so I remembered today that my cousin had told me she was running into some black female bloggers talking about how they finally gained weight - and how odd she found it. Everyone thinks we should be happy at the weight we're at - even my doctor won't help me! So, I scanned the internets and searched youtube and actually found quite a few who are currently on weight gain journeys! I was like :


So happy I found them! Lol
I mean, so far i have only found 3 who are currently doing it and that is: 
Jazzy Jay

You can always go to Bootynomics as well - but I don't find it as helpful now that I am gaining weight. She was really helpful to me when I had been trying to maintain my weight. Now that I lost it, and I am trying to re-gain...no. 

It's hard out here for people like me trying to re-gain weight. LOL
It really is, and not many people are helping around me, so I am doing it on my own. No one is really encouraging me, no one is really motivating me with photos or websites or anything. 

So when I get discouraged, that's just it for me - and everyone tells me to either relax or : ";you still look cute!"


Thats like telling someone who's trying to lose weight that they're still 'beautiful" or they're still "healthy" or they're still "Cute" or the damn beauty is in the damn eyes of the bloody beholder! No damnit. Stop that shit.


You are not encouraging and you are not helping.
Even if you think its a lost cause - that doesnt mean you should discourage your friends or family or significant others!

You're an ass for that. Stop doing it. be encouraging. Help out. Say things or send things that may help them find out what they can do!


Sometimes people want you to help them all the time and they don't really care to help you.
That's a fact. It's alright - you could be a vengeful person and just stop helping them..lol OR
you can continue to help and maybe chime in that you'd appreciate some support as well... If they still don't give it...then okay. You're on your own. That's alright. Sometimes it's for the best anyway - its better than having someone discourage you a lot daily. Just keep it to yourself. Don't tell them what you're doing anymore. Just do it. 

Seek a community online. I am sure there is one. If there isn't create one. Write. Vlog. Put up progress shots. Comment on a vlogger or blogger's progress and they will respond and you will feel connected to someone, who is in the same position as you.

I know I am on that positivity thing but - screw the people who aren't there for you in any aspect. They aren't good for your life anyhow, so don't even pay attention to them. 

(you know my grammar is never perfect on here, I talk how I speak in an informal setting..)

Have a good one.


My Photo

"Poetic mind. Loving heart. Flawed ways." - AlexElle
I could never do the unimaginable...
The unimaginable are for those with little imagination.

My imagination, since I was young , has always been very vast and full of colour (literally and figuratively). I always had so many plans, so many ideas and so many ways to find a way to execute those ideas. Though it was sometimes hard - and I never claimed that I was a genius or that I was the best at anything in particular - I am always aware that there is always the high chance that there's someone who could do something better than me. The difference between myself and others is that I am not very competitive.

 I do not try my hardest and do my best in order to beat down others, I merely do as well as I possibly can in order to feel happy for myself. When I receive great feedback on work that I did on my own I get extremely excited and ecstatic, not because I have possibly outdone someone's best effort, but because I have done a good job enough to be recognized.

'Cause "recognition is the best motivator" - but only cause I feel that most times when I'm doing a good job, I can always do better and better and advance myself.



emancipators. you can be one too =]